My Hobby: Reading 1-Star Reviews for My Favorite Books
September 25, 2011 § 22 Comments
You can’t make everyone happy. That’s something I’m trying to teach myself before I find my own work anonymously reviewed. Reading 1-star reviews for my favorite books started out as a way to emphasize to myself that it’s impossible to please everyone, but it has evolved into so much more than that. I just think these are hilarious and an endless source of amusement. Here are some of my favorites. If you find some great 1-star reviews of your own, share them in the comments.
“It is all about Harry…Harry walked down the hall…Harry saw the troll…Harry this, and Harry that. What about that Draco kid? Why doesn’t the author ever put anything in his perspective?”
And while we’re on the subject, why don’t we ever get to see the world from Voldemort’s point of view? And where is Sauron’s perspective in Lord of the Rings? Or Darth Vaders? Oh right.
“Another large cliche that is found in the reading is how the plot is formatted. The storyline goes as follows: Exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution. It never changes.”
The ultimate cliche because every story uses it, and not just in books. But come on J. K., how about a little originality? Don’t worry though, all those other stories just get one star too.
“Big budget marketing is all I can think of to create such hype.”
Those marketers and the way they pick previously unpublished, broke, single moms to propel to stardom. If not for that, Rowling never even would have been noticed. One star.
“The plot is centered around a rather uncreative point – a rat attacking some (talking!)mice.”
Talking mice–outrageous yet so uncreative. One star.
“I can’t imagine anyone wanting to read anymore about Artemis Fowl. He is a nasty, nasty little boy.”
I can just picture my grandmother saying this.
In “researching” for this post I found that John Scalzi, author of Old Man’s War, has beaten me to the punch and collected his favorite one star reviews of his own books. Some pretty funny stuff. It’s also a good reminder that there are people behind the books we criticize.